Flowers

Check out these flowers on my desk. My coworker bought some at Sam's and decided to give me half. They have literally been sitting here for 3 weeks looking like the day she bought them. This past weekend they decided to give up the ghost. Probably because they had sucked every drop of moisture from the vase. Yeah, I didn't water them. I don't know what kind of voodoo magic Sam's does with their floral department, but I'm impressed.

Pipes

Last night I broke down and did the cardio part of my new workout series. What prompted this you ask? I decided to try on some bathing suits I purchased two years ago that never saw the light of day. Definitely a motivator. I thought I could get away with my continued laziness, especially since I've been tanning. Wrong. Let me tell you...I sweated so much in those ten minutes, I was sure an IV would be required to rehydrate me.

On a side note, my sister has found me yet another excellent possible gift. Just this year I've gotten the Jane Austen and lunchroom lady action figures among other things. But I do believe she has found one to top even those treats. A miniature set of bagpipes! I just got a chill, people. I'm determined to possess this item and if all goes well, graduate to a more sophisticated set. Not only will it warm my heart to hear the sounds of Scotland, but I can learn Amazing Grace, record it and have it played at my funeral since I'm not sure where the family will find a piper for the occasion. Would it be wrong to also include 'Like a Virgin'? Ever since I heard the story of how when Madonna and Guy Ritchie disembarked from their plane upon arriving in Scotland for their wedding, a lone piper was playing that tune, I knew it should be included in the repertoire. Is this appropriate? Probably not, but at least it will get a chuckle from my sisters and BFF's.

Cheese Roll

I can't name one other person who enjoys either of these shows, but I'm pretty stoked that new seasons of The Amazing Race and Survivor are back on. I'd love to do the Race, but Survivor? Not so much. The physical challenges look interesting, but not enough to endure the pure physical agony that living in the elements would bring. The only person who would be brave enough to go on TAR with me is Jake and I'm pretty sure there would be complete websites devoted to the public hatred of us.

This weeks episode of TAR had one of the most hilarious challenges yet. So hilarious that I've watched it twice and nearly wet my pants both times from laughing. The teams are in Switzerland, the challenge is to hike up this steep hill with an "antique" apparatus, strap a 50 lb cheese into it, walk back down the mountain and deposit the cheese. After 200 lbs, you get the next clue. I can't even explain the hilarity that ensues, so here's the video. I dare you not to laugh.

The Godfather

I am officially a Mobster. I joined a family in Mafia Wars on Facebook. So far there are only 6 of us, which is clearly not enough when there’s a big fight coming up with another family. I now have a hired thug on my payroll since I refuse to go into battle unprepared. Yesterday I pistol whipped Don Giancarlo and then gave him a beat down with my crowbar. The bastard wouldn’t declare defeat, therefore I had to run him over today with the delivery truck I purchased earlier. Good times.

Pentecostal Halloween

I had to post this hilarious photo, even though I'm about 2 holidays behind. This is what Jamie refers to as Pentecostal Halloween. Circa 1981. Back in the day where costumes were handmade. My parents made serious use of the tin foil on Jamie's wings and my crown. I love that I dressed up as Jezebel...yes, she was a queen, but she also led the Hebrews into idolatry and sexual immorality. Maybe I should have gone with Mary instead.On a side note: The kid staring at us in all our glory was Kimberly. She was dressed up as Scooby Doo. Last I checked there were no biblical references to a crime solving dog who's terrified of ghosts

Question

"When will you quit rationalizing your inferior performance?"



This was the question posed to me by Jeff today. When is that going to happen, my friend? How about never. Is that good enough? I wonder if he sits around all day coming up with these provocative statements and questions to harass me with on his drive home. He also said "It's not about how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit." I can only assume this is some advice his football coach from high school gave him because, frankly, I don't know how this pertains to me.

I gave him even more disappointment...if that's possible...when I informed him that I couldn't attend the annual Granier Bourree' game on Christmas Day due to other plans. He'll have to go with Plan B on that one and I'm pretty sure Plan B is between the ages of 18-21. Good luck dominating the game, dude. Bet she won't leave T's house with $200 worth of cash and prizes like I did last year!

TGIF

I just received my daily tongue lashing from Jeff about my lack of willpower and commmitment with P90X. I wonder if he realizes that exercise is not the only area of my life that pertains to. So I promised him that I would get on the train after the holidays. I really can't justify getting back into the groove at this point. There are too many social obligations that would be in jeopardy.